Coffee And Memes

Wild episode, not for the faint hearted. The arrest of Ghislaine Maxwell combined with too much coffee cause a near overload of the feathery one.

The youth of the day are bodied up and smashing the Nos like its going out of fashion. And we discover maybe the most Coffee And Memes story ever.

Matt Hancock gives up on the rona and instead details his top tips on eating ass. We look to defund Drum And Bass and CHAZ is not quite going to plan.

Brighton's Autonomous Zone Warlord, aka The Feathery King is back for a new season/series/splurge of Coffee And Memes. We visit some old friends and refresh ourselves with the 2-bit tabloid shit show.

Recorded on 27th May 2020

Myself and Sweet Johnny take to the park for a socially distant episode. We ponder why no one ever mentions Jeffery Epstein's charity work and Taylor Swifts clear alt-right dog whistles.

Recorded 22nd May 2020

My live in lover joins me for talk of all sorts of toots. Wetherspoons takes one step closer to total dystopia.

 

Back in the studio, nestled deep in the colon on Brighton radio. I go deep on my theories about why these housewives are so hot and horny and what can be done about it.

We get treated to some anecdotes from teachers about what grotty little sods kids are. And why does no one ever mention Epstein's charity work?

The Mossad are branching out into DNB themed wet t-shirt comps presumably to obtain sexual blackmail but who knows!

Why is there such scant information on Whitty? Who is he really working for? What are his real motives?

Surely it's fine to float the lockdown rules that you recommended the government set so long as it's to someone else's wife? Especially if she is a polyamorous, bee keeping SJW!

I am joined by two local heros who during lockdown have managed to achieve something so incredible it is almost unbelievable.

Hydroxy And The ChloroQueens are live and in session with their new hit 'Wet Market Blues'

What if Miley Cyrus wants to meet up in town, breaking social distancing rules? Should I go, should i stay? It's all to play for....

I run down the worlds fittest dictators in a bid to find out who I would most like to have ransack my rights in a steamy authoritarian love making session.

Don't let the overweight gun nuts do your dirty work when the ISIS are at the gates. They're putting the assault weapons to good use, fighting for their right to eat Maccy D's in a car park!

We take a look a truly harrowing bootleg of Cyndi Lauper and I aim both barrels at all things marijuana!

Utter and potentially very costly chaos ensues for this particularly boozy episode of Whiskey And Memes. We take a look at who might be the biggest shill of the DNB MC's

It's a business as old as time itself. People be needing clownstep and people be needing handjobs. Si Twiddy is on the phone attempting to defend claims he started the 'rona.

The boys of the Discord pretend not to find conservative women attractive for the benefit of who exactly? A new genre of erotic fan fiction is born.

Boomers are dancing in the sun on rollerblades, Houseparty app is destroying lives, doucing for fun is fine. All is well in the world.

I continue on with my ever useful Rankin's 12 Rules For Life with some seemingly obvious yet important rules to live by. I get screwed over by Porn Hub.

Mondays episode pre-lockdown. What wild times we live in. I discover an infinite and untapped source of bullshit gold.

Coming to you live from my sadly deceased friend Jeff's private island in the Caribbean. I speak with northern correspondent James Budd, Big Woj and France Lockdown expert Dimy.

 

What better way to spend your isolation that smearing a paste of banana and vasoline over your ass to double it's size! 

The apocalypse called, i answered. How fast is a cow? Faster than it looks, no doubt, but how fast does it look? 

Sweet Johnny is for for a romp through the actually state of the retirement home tear up that is the US election. The UK are stocking up on body bags in prep for the apocalypse and maybe TC was to blame all along!

The Hove Thicc Boi is called out for illicit muffin use. Man eats 38 big macs in a row and looks like he is going to die. Anti-PC bus company will crush your ego.

The Sweet One is in for a 2 hour spesh on all your favourite Coronavirus based news stories. We also tackle the issue of why so many spokespeople are so wriggly. 

Todays show is cohosted by a donut that make people have speculated is not real as i chose not to eat it live on air. It never ceases to amaze me the depths the DNBIC will stoop to to try and bring their rivals down.

There is no need to mention or question the levels of duck grease on the stairs at the Wetherspoons. Please just go about your business.

Complete riot of a show. Posij is on the phone to give information about the Clintons and Epstein. Kenny Ken b2b Kenny Ken is announced at MADE Festival and Grooveride Pirate memes reduce me to a mess on the floor.

I accidentally invent this seasons coolest new sex toy while a bunch of nerds on a forum debate thermodynamics in the context of how much ice you can put up your arse.

Far and away the best episode of Coffee and Memes ever. Si Twiddy is stuck on a roof, live on air, with increasingly hilarious consequences.  

Developments at Costa yield mixed results. A Ham toastie threatens to bring down the monarchy and Mr Chicken gets pied at Nandos. 

2 Bags for trainers covered in jizz? Not bad for a days work. Prince Andrew is back on his bullshit and the 2-bit nature of Threshold is ever apparent.

The Sweet One is back from quarantine and ready to tackle the high pressure sewerage pipe that is The Metro. Fat Kimmy is having more people offed in NK, A South African is imprisoned in a Milton Keynes Travel Lodge and someone has taped a chicken to an Australia train ticket machine.

There comes a day in every young hipsters life where the blood will pour through the ceiling and onto their Lana Del Ray album. That's how they know they are truly hip.

Once again we are drawn to violence in a Toby Carvery and this time we get a glimpse as to the financial and legal cost of being convicted of 'knuckling up in a Carvery'. 

Christian Conservative from the US is very concerned about keeping the devil out of his botty that he is prepared to put anything else up there as a deterrent. 

What if the Lobos where on Channel 4's Who Dares Wins? Would any of the make it more than a few hours? How many beans can Ant Middleton do?

With an almost infinite number of options, why must so often things be done in the jokes way? Also, people that get punched in the head for a living offer hot takes on medicine

81 year old woman describes in details how things slinging that toy boy Egyptian dick to horrified This Morning audience and confirms 100% he is not after her cash!

Old geeza would like to confirm that he is not dead. Old lady would like to confirm that dildo not hers. Paul Chuckle also not dead.

Sonos go rogue and demand all the customers pay for their wireless speakers to get boob jobs for lols. Petrol stations are sexist and Joe Exotic gets a big old bit of bird.

Why does the old woman who lives in a shoe beat her kids? Should she really be allowed to have so many? Should there be rules against this sort of thing?

Best Jump Up Label is won by a group of criminal delinquents who met at court and got kicked out for being too drunk. And god bless them.

 

A man has food from the future that has come from the future and is food, food from the future. Future food, if you like. 

What will be 2020's hottest trends in sexual wellness? What should you vag smell like? All these important questions and more, answered today on Cofeveve and Meemees.

Tales from the post-apocalyptic area of Hove which apparently i now live in. Man may or may not have taken boner pills made for bulls. Where does uncle Charlie get his folding money?