Coffee And Memes

It's all go today! I'm triggered pretty much immediately by the tardiness of one of the alleged 'functioning adults' who works upstairs and accidentally declare war on another Brighton radio station. 

Sweet Johnny is back to cover all the darkest news stories there are to find. Lifers VS Nonces could be Russias hit new web series and a North Carolina retirement home have started a fight club!

Squiff stops by to take in the utter insanity of the world. Boy sent to gulag for wearing the trousers of the poor and accidental edition of White People Do The Darndest Things.

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Moby is up to his old trick. Man has to buy a Cheeseburger in order to hold up a McDonalds and i am duped once again by a strange woman with a strong knowledge of Photoshop.

AI fails me when i need it the most. I'm triggered by the lack of best radio station/show categories in the DNB Awards so prepose an alternative awards with categories people actually care about.

Ministers have concerns that a No-Deal Brexit will lead to mass dogging in Kent lay-bys, Belle Delphine gets in on the clown world action. And plenty of delicious horse meat!

An extended intro about Si Twiddy for little to no reason. News on everyones 'favourite' gamer girl and can you be a true libertarian if you don't sell your kids?

We discover the majestic world of erotic author Chuck Tingle short books are a must read for fans of anthropomorphised inanimate objects shagging people in the butt, often with a Brexit theme.

 

 

How many men truly have it in them to kneel at the feet of Cockney Jesus and ask him if he considers them a 'proper geeza'? How many would be able to take the answer? It's worth thinking about.

I am going to make it my mission to put every single bloody bloomer into a home and then appropriate their ill gotten property from my own Xenial means. You mark my words!

Feminist ghosts are out to make a pound note. How hard do you think you are? Place yourself in a percentage compared to the rest of the world. Do it. For lulz.

 

Can a sausage roll truly leave you traumatised for life? I sure hope so! The Swooping Prince, Sweet Johnny returns with his trailblazing ways and ICP have made a western with Bridget The Midget :/

More high class hookers, heads used as ashtrays, bean dip laced with meth and an introspective triggering from Toby Carvery. Standard Monday really on Coffee And Memes.

Rosie Posey joins me again for delightful romp through the world of fondling, moist panties and other such delights. All the basic bitch dating terms you ever needed explaining get explained.

 

All fun at the fair today with high level lawyers becoming high class brass's while the husband (who definitely doesn't mind, honest) stays home with the baby in order to remove stigma before going home to her luxury mansion. 

Cry into your underwear for cash, but whatever you do, don't accidentally adopt a psychopathic Ukrainian dwarf because she is almost certainly a government operative looking to off you. 

WE ARE ONE!!! The station gets stormed by placard wielding lobsters demanding the release of Wesley Snips. Buckfast cocktails, multiple cakes and shots of the good stuff. Here's to the next 10 years!

We catch up with my favourite 'off-grid' parents who are now living a libertarian life in a council house with their illiterate breastfeeding 8 year old while the dad refuses to work on principal! Audio pops up in the chat and is immediately threatened with the bans!

A live stream watching a live stream. We watch some YouTubers gathered outside area 51 and meet a judge who gets horny from murder trials.  

I experience a truly harrowing double triggering this morning on my dog walk along the beach. Elon is still in hot water in his fight against 'Pedo Guy' and we could all die at any moment from some disease or other.

As we all know, the position of the stars when you are born dictates not only the entirety of your personality but also the whole course of your life. Fingers crossed you get born in the right month though as there is nothing you can do about it!

Sweet Johnny and I discuss the almost limitless merits of having a fake heron strapped to your head. Male sex dolls are too heavy for poor, small lonely women and swooping season is upon us.

Why is Hove park full of fat, childless millennials with blue hair walking around on their phones, vaping?

The size of the trousers of a countries dictator are directly proportional to how well the country is doing as a whole. We get a sad update on the storming of Area 51.

We take pity on the poor hot girls out there that have been afflicted with toe thumbs. The triggening takes a good 30 mins to kick in but of course it does

Live coding an abstract 'your mum' insult generator to be used for evil.

Man proposes tougher police powers to stop people todding on the roof of his beloved Honda Jazz. Vegans are killing rabbits and teachers are looking at going back to the good old days of the cain.

Is a cash for gash system really what Oxfam needs to create the kind of rigidity and gumption this country needs to pull itself back from the brink of destruction?

Delving into the wealthy world of our least favourite shape shifting lizard, Mark Zuckerberg! How to spot a softboi and other luscious Friday treats.

 

Animals are buying porn and sending nudes and seducing elderly Thai men! Vegan lady in batshit crazy shocker. Tiny horse has bizzare gimp mask. 

Sweet Johnny returns to rattle some cages. Florida man has some unique thoughts on dealing with hurricanes and we prepose an online register of which EDM DJs eat ass.

I slow news week will not stop us from digging out the finest tods the tabloids have to offer. Psy Trance Dad is a serious danger, roofers are laying pipe down your chimney and traffic cops get put on the shit list.

I offer a thorough breakdown of a fight in a McDonalds, some gems from The Smoking Gun and a fat lad needs to put a shirt on. 

Theres an Owlman on the loose, a deeply problematic giant with a huge dong in Devon and a lady has some great tips for attracting flocks of men.

The wankers of Wallmart, Porn Hubs dirtiest ever film and how to make your mother proud at her book group.

Seagull fake news being used to sell CBD oil! People are dominating their friendship group by making sex dolls that look like their best mates girlfriend. 

We delve into the entrepreneurial world of Bart Vanderhorst and i receive more USB cable related cyber bullying.

Metro are peddling fake news as per usual, crossbow sex cults are ending in tears and i offer vital info on anyone trying to cultivate a creepy perv look for fashion or otherwise.

Jim from Rankin Radio pops in to talk about Simon Cowell's face, why crossbows are back in fashion and his now ex-boyfriend.

Sweet Johnny pops in to chat conspiracies,  huge piles of tod, side chicks on the rampage and general tin foil hat work.

Imagine spending £170,000 of tax payers money on a public toilet that sprays fat people with water and sets of an alarm and reveals the hairy arses and unbleached anus' of toilet shaggers!

The people deserve food and beverage products made from the yeast of the GC. Give the people what they want!! 

Lads are impressions for smuggling pig spunk, and a lass will show you how to wank your way to riches. All in a days work for Coffee And Memes.

 

Big update on the Kenny Fu-Kennard name change. Maybe nuclear was might not be as bad as we think, maybe we should all have nuclear weapons on us at all times? Maybe.....

Food blogger, nemesis of seaguls and confirmed good-times-gal, Rosie Posie joins me to talk the toot about digital blowies and crowder funders for ass implants.

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Sassy police get triggered by puns on Facebook. A 2 week long boner threatens a mans life. A sad sad tale of Tinder catfishing.

Boiling up a lovely pot of pantie tea for all those thirsty jump up bois out there. 

I am happy that Jeff Parsons has come to terms with sharting himself in Starbucks while wearing his airpods in front of the whole cafe. I am genuinely pleased for him.

Squiff drops in for episode 200. Seaguls Vs Antifa, Keith Chewin back from the dead to smuggle gear, Michael Buerk goes hard in the paint on fat people.

Lads out there offending the Home Office because he is so far. £20,000 pay off for a circumcision and my patients with The Zuck finally runs out.